1. |
Chasing Silhouettes
04:28
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I’m a prostitute, and everybody pays
And we’re gone with the spring
Chasing silhouettes, and images of days
Forgetting what we bring
If it is that we bring anything
So pack your clothes, and pack your woes
And pack your songs and pack your wrongs,
We’re leaving, and we’re leaving like we came
Get on the plane get on the train,
Get on that bus, just come with us,
There ain’t nothing for you
Nothing for you in this town of rain
My life is on fire, my love is for free
My parents are liars, my parents are me
Relationships tired of the shit that expires around us
Around us
My daughters and sons become my life
Become my light that drops and
Shatters, but it never mattered
Until now
I peel off the scabs, you take off the rags
Just let me stay a little longer,
And hold me stronger
And let me float along the river
Who said I was your sinner
I’m not the boss
But child, I was lost,
I was lost
My life is on fire, my love is for free
My parents are liars, my parents are me
Relationships tired of the shit that expires around us
Around us.
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2. |
Mark on the Bus
02:48
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I was half done with the bottle by the time your call came in and you asked, “Daddy, why don’t you come over later?”
I left the cinema and I jumped into the street where all my friends were getting high on shitty weed along the length of the equator
“There are no good men, but there’s bad men”
And every now and then I meet a ten and I rate her on a scale made up of sexual frustration
There are no good men, but there’s dead men,and they’re the men in skinny jeans staring at screens looking out at the beach in silent contemplation
By the time that I got off the bus the other half was gone and I’m not sure where it went to but I suspect it was my mind
And from behind a boy named Mark, that peddled spearmint in the dark, asked if I had a place to sleep, asked if I knew of someplace dry
And I said yes, yes, yes, I know a place that’s dry, and I’ve slept there a few times myself
Bless the heavens that Jesus arrived and got high with the kitchen help
I was knocking on your door, but you didn’t open, no you did not open but your mama did
And she informed me what I smelled of, and what I looked like, and how I’ve always been dead set to be a failure and I predict that she’s correct
So I went back to California Street, where I met her and you met me, and women wear black tape along their tits
You see, it’s only California Street where beggars go to die, that I can piss each time I shit, and I can dance each time I cry
By the time that I got off the bus the other half was gone and I’m not sure where it went to but I suspect it was my mind
And from behind a boy named Marc, that peddled spearmint in the dark, asked if I had a place to sleep, and if I knew of someplace dry
But I didn’t though, I went back out, got mugged, got beaten, and I got thrown out of places where there’s drinks associated with my face
And there they go, the horny and the tired, the despised and the admired, as the night ends they all head to the same place
And I said yes, yes, yes, I know a place that’s dry, and I’ve slept there a few times myself
Bless the heavens that Jesus arrived and got high with the kitchen help
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3. |
Two Thousand Something
07:20
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There’s a house on the opposite side of the street
Where I hear what you tell me over the music
Where no one asks if I use it
There’s a place in this house I forget why and where
If you blow out the candles and tie back your hair
You’re forgiven for leaving, for lying, for scheming, and buying, for breathing, and dying
Alone, don’t you go back home
Don’t you dare go down on your knees as you crawl through the streets now you’re grown
There’s a room where your mother keeps all that you’ve burned
And your father in patience awaits your return
And they hide it in mothballs and keep out of reach
But in the summer there’s boys kissing boys by the pool
And the last day she drives you she drives you to school
And you wonder if there is anything there left to teach
You were taught to stay
Alone, don’t you go back home
Don’t you dare fall back on your knees as you crawl through the streets now you’ve grown
Forgiveness comes in many colors, but it never came in mine
You see, I never could forgive, how you could never stay in line
Nevertheless let’s stay in touch, and peel the paint off of these signs
It’s this progressive way you live, gives me regressive ways to lie
And say
“The bells here are broken, the bells here don’t ring”
She runs with her shoelace unlaced in the spring
It gets hard, it gets hard to forget
That the children are broken, the children don’t sing
The children say “screw it, man, fuck everything”
It gets hard, to not have these regrets
There’s a couple that dances on couches and tables
A lady that dances with horses in stables
An old man that’s tying a noose ‘round his neck
In the attic there’s an old box where old things are kept
An urn with the remnants that no one forgets
Relearn what your parents and peers all expect
They expect you stay
Alone, don’t you go back home
Don’t you dare go down on your knees as you crawl through the streets now you’ve grown
There’s a table where Heron and Nixon have tea
Where there’s cash accounts, critics and interns and seed
Less leave-less and hopeless impressions of youth
You’re unable to see past the fog in the hall
And relatable pictured depictments of fall
Redundantly unopened presents, in truth
In truth you should stay
Alone, don’t you go back home
Don’t you dare go down on your knees as you crawl through the streets now you’re grown
Redemption came for all the others, but it never came for me
There ain’t a person in this empty room that I would rather see
There ain’t one word or sentence could describe the awful shit I’ve heard
They keep on bringing me these cowards with their empty fucking words
They say
“The bells here are broken, the bells here don’t ring”
She runs with her shoelace unlaced in the spring
It gets hard, it gets hard to forget
The children are broken, the children don’t sing
The children say “screw it, man, fuck everything”
It gets hard, to not have these regrets
In the corner there’s hookers and trannies and crooks
Out there there’s a poet giving blowjobs for books
In here we’re all stacked into big fucking files
On the lawn there’s a pool of what might look like blood
At the entrance a door tries to keep out the flood
In the end we’re all perverts and old pedophiles
Told to stay
Alone, don’t you go back home
Don’t you dare go down on your knees as you crawl through the streets now you’re grown
It gets easy to learn how to get back inside
It gets pleasing to burn back the wallpaper skies
That room at the end there should really stay closed
But its dark and its cold when the windows stay shut
This here’s where you dug yourself into your rut
This here’s where you fuckers should all keep your clothes
On and stay
Alone, don’t you go back home
Don’t you go down on your knees as you crawl through the streets now you’ve grown
Recession tore apart my brothers, and it tore apart this town
Now all these faggots and these niggers are gonna burn this fucker down
While all these backwoods retard rednecks fuck their cousins in the woods
There must be metaphors here somewhere, somewhere in my neighborhood
They say “The bells here are broken, the bells here don’t ring”
She runs with her shoelace unlaced in the spring
It gets hard, it gets hard to forget
That the children are broken, the children don’t sing
The children say “screw it, man. Fuck everything”
It gets hard, to not have these regrets
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4. |
Shalalala
04:56
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If it’s fine by you I’ll leave now
And I’ll try not to be back until December
And if it’s hard to keep your sleeves down
Then refrain from fucking any other adolescent members
Of your entourage, that’s all I was
Take liberties and pills
You’re a half-remembered memory on folded dollar bills
And though the winter’s come and gone
You’ll press rewind but you’ll be wrong
For fast-forward works much better
When you can’t even read the letters that I send
Love and leave me, hold me down
Grab and grieve me, cut me now
Lover, don’t even bother with the pleasantries
Honey, tuck me into bed
Honey, fuck me ‘till I’m dead
Lover, won’t you ignore all of my felonies?
She said, “Shalala…”
If it’s I that you relieve now
Then I’m sorry, girl, you shouldn’t come much closer
See, I can’t but disbelieve how
There’s a story written underneath your pornographic posters
It’s a dope mirage that elevated me into your room
You’re a half remembered piece of shit discarded much too soon
Among the “has-been”s, and the “been-there”s, where the faceless and the rich
Sit with misremembered, apathetic, sickly children hitched upon your,
Your “love and leave me, hold me down
Grab and grieve me, cut me now”
Lover, don’t even bother with the pleasantries
Honey, tuck me into bed
Honey, fuck me ‘till I’m dead
Lover, won’t you ignore all of my felonies?
She said, “Shalala…”
Yes, it’s fine boy you should leave now,
But just don’t expect that I will leave with you
See, there’s a line that must be held down,
Separating what you know,
From what I once thought that you knew
About the functioning of dialogue held over broken mugs
And the ignorance of sentiment conveyed by means of shrugs
Oh how they pacify your soul, these empty ballads without words,
So fuck your “I love you”s and your “Shalalas”
And fuck what you heard
When all you heard was
”Love and leave me, hold me down
Grab and grieve me, cut me now”
Lover, don’t even bother with the pleasantries
Honey, tuck me into bed
Honey, fuck me ‘till I’m dead
Lover, won’t you ignore all of my felonies?
She said, “Shalala…”
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5. |
Absolution
04:05
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I’ve forgotten how to write
And it’s not often that I laugh
I never really understood how anybody could
When children die of hunger
And there’s violence in the streets
And I can’t get Wi-Fi in my room
And I hate my fucking sheets
I’ve forgotten what to call you
And I never liked your laugh
But the fact that you put up with my neurosis is enough
To convince myself that you’re the one,
And convince you of the same
I’ll give you one more decade
If you give me one more day
One more day
I pray for absolution
I pray
For inner peace of mind
I pray that someone will come blow me
So come and blow me
And take your time
I’ve forgotten how to cry out loud
For anybody else
And I haven’t yet felt hunger
That I haven’t caused myself
And the mirror stopped recognizing me
Three diets ago
And I’m writing every day now
But by god I’m writing slow
Now I’ve forgotten how to love you
But my body wants to
Yes it does
My liquor-fueled libido wants to fuck them all
All at once
My pill-sedated-mind, it might just let it
Just for fun
And I still can’t remember
What it takes it to point this gun
And so I pray
I pray for absolution
I pray
I pray for you and I
I pray for inner peace and silence
But mostly silence and mostly I
I pray for me
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